Dear Wonderful, Beautiful, Magnificent,Diary
by idyllic nocturne
Summary: Ayame and Shigure wander the halls of Yuki's school. Note: New Chappie! One more to go!
1. Ayame's Entry

**Lioness-chan**: This is…a tiny little fic-let. Wait, don't "–let," "little," and "tiny" mean the same thing? C'est la vie. Oh, and Kyo-kun's doing the disclaimer today.

**Kyo-kun**: Why the _beep_ do I have to do the disclaimer?

**Lioness-chan**: ** . ** Kyo, I'm trying to write a fic that isn't rated T, and you're _definitely_ not helping! Now behave, or you don't get a tuna sandwich!

**Kyo-kun**: Tuna? Fine, this--_lioness-super-powered glare!_ Just—She doesn't own it, okay?

**Lioness-chan**: Good boy. _starts to eat sandwich_

**Kyo-kun**: Hey, my sandwich!

**Lioness-chan**: _hands Kyo another sandwich_ No, I packed _two_ tuna. I'm a cat too, ya know. _Nya!_ **:3**

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**Dear Wonderful, Beautiful, Magnificent, Superb, Breathtaking, Fantastic Diary**

**Chapter One**

**Ayame**

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Dear wonderful, beautiful, magnificent, superb, breathtaking, fantastic Diary,

My brother's expression turned to one of a combination of horror, bewilderment, and (Dare I say it? Yes, I shall!) curiosity. This day reminds me of Yuki's day of romance. But I am getting ahead of myself.

Now, of course, my store is absolutely, positively fantastic. But, sometimes it's boring there when there are no projects Mine will let me work on. So, when and I became rather tired with idling in my _fabulous_ store, I came up with the wonderfully perfectly perfect idea of picking up my most beloved younger brother, and his comrades.

To be fair, we brought Hatori so that…I don't know. We felt like it. Hmm…I must think about that for a moment…All done! There was absolutely no reason to bring Ha'ri. No worries, however, for he quickly and almost eagerly abandoned us.

Well, anyway, trying to follow in his superbly magnificent nii-san's footsteps, my delightful Yuki was president of the student body, as you very well know, dear Diary. You know, I knew from the very beginning that my adoring younger brother would try to do everything I ever did. So, we had to wait even longer than we normally would have.

Bored close to tears waiting outside, Shigure and myself spent our time doing anything we could come up with. Though..._flirting _(such a word!)…with each other is fun, we were beginning to tire of it because frankly, we weren't embarrassing anyone, such as the usual Ha'ri or my darling, adoring brother Yuki, making it _extremely_ dull. Besides, too many people seemed to be taking us seriously. Had no one heard of a friendly _jest_?

We quickly scampered into the building and wandered around the halls. I think we saw Hatsuharu throwing something through a window, but I couldn't get a very good look. The boy immediately ran back into the room, and threw many desks and chairs out of the large gaping hole. Now that I have had a chance to ponder on it, dear Diary, I can now say with assurance that in fact, it could have very well been Hatsuharu. If it was, I think that he should go to a psychiatrist. They know how to deal with people like him.

After what seemed like hours of walking through mazes of hallways, we made it to the student council room, where we (being myself and 'Gure, if you remember) were immediately showered with cries of happiness and praise. I do tend to have that effect, so it didn't slight me one bit. That one black-haired boy, the one that agreed so quickly for me to be the commander immediately came over and gave me a bounty of much deserved admiration.

For some reason, however, my little Yuki had a small fit of self-centeredness, and brought us back into the hall, depriving his fellow classmates the wonderful experience of being in my company. I must teach my brother, among other things, not to be so selfish. My adoring Yuki then pulled Shigure and myself further away from the room.

Walking back after making my glorious appearance as commander, we passed the homeroom of Yuki, Kyonkichi, and Tohru. In other words, Mayuko's room. What we saw was…well…

"Ha'ri, at least close the door!" Shigure called, chortling.

I sniggered and said, "Hatori, you are naughty, simply naughty."

Yuki, being behind us, and not nearly as tall as our regal selves, _rudely_ pushed me aside to see what we were laughing at. After staring for about…three seconds, he ran off.

Unfortunately, Tori closed the door and locked us out. No longer able to tease our comrade, we skipped off to find my darling little Yuki.

We finally caught up with him just as he reached the door and ran to where Kyonkichi and Tohru were playing some card game with classmates. For shame, Diary! I know you just imagined poor Tohru in her school uniform. How sinful! Though, I could probably make much cuter ones myself, with the help of Mine, of course.

"Yuki-kun, what's wrong?" Tohru asked, worried.

All that my unfortunate brother could say was, "…uh…" so I told my attentive audience, "Your teacher Mayuko-san was making out with Ha'ri-san!!!" Everyone stared at my profound intelligence and beauty in awe.

Well, Tori is trying to rip this page out of you, dear Diary, though he is also trying to strangle me with my own hair. Oh no, now he's just trying to kill me.

Give up, Ha'ri. It can't be---OWCHIES!

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Review, please!


	2. Shigure's Entry

**Lioness-chan**: Here's chappie numba dos! Whoo-hoo! Sugar Rush! Come on, chant with me! Sugar Rush! Sugar Rush! Sugar Rush! Sugar Rush! Sugar Rush!

**Kyo-kun**: What the hell?

**Lioness-chan**: **--.--** Kyo, remember what I said last time about cursing? Why do you think that you're not in this story?

**Kyo-kun**: Why do you have me here, then? Everyone knows that you like Shigure, Ayame, and Hatori best.

**Lioness-chan**: Well, duh. Now, do the disclaimer, Orange-head!

**Kyo-kun**[_mumbles_ Lioness doesn't own Fruits Basket, the [_beep_.

**Lioness-chan**: Kyo is Signor Stupid! _Nya!_ **:3**

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Shigure is hard, due partially because I'm not trying to portray the _real_ him. (The evil, manipulative, self-centered _beep_) I'm just trying to do a happy little fic, so I made him as sort of a mix between Hatori and Ayame. He can be silly, and he can be more serious. Of course, he'll always be a pervert.

Also, I'm now Idyllic Nocturne, but I'm continuing this as Lioness because that's how it was originally written. I'm still trying to figure out Idyllic's persona. Most likely, she'll split into Idyllic and Nocturne, like White Haru and Black Haru.

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**Dear Wonderful, Beautiful, Magnificent, Superb, Breathtaking, Fantastic Diary**

**Chapter Two**

**Shigure**

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Dear Diary,

Today was absolutely hilarious!

Aya and I were in his store, when we were suddenly overcome with boredom. Looking at the time, we saw that Yuki's school had let out, so we decided to go over and pick everyone up. (_High school girls! Young, innocent high school girls!_)

We did have Hatori with us, but he soon left. Since it was all thanks to me that he and Mayuko got together, I instantly knew where he would be headed. Writers such as I just have amazing intuition, I suppose.

Walking through the halls I couldn't help but chant in my head "High school, high school, _high school girls_!" Because it was so late after school, there weren't very many, I'm afraid. But the girls that I _did_ see knew how to _properly_ wear their uniforms. Ahem.

Anyway, while we were walking, I looked down a hallway, and wouldn't you know it, there was Hatsuharu! He seemed to be having a lot of fun throwing things such as desks through the windows, so I tried to hide behind Aya.

Diary, I know that many diaries before you have felt the wrath of Black Haru, so I needn't explain just how frightening he can be. Especially when he's coming at you with a fairly large piece of sharp glass.

We succeeded in leaving before Black Haru could kill us and continued a walk down the hallways. I should suggest to Akito that Haru needs some help. Even the head of the family can't ignore how much he's costing us with all of the repairs. I would bet that the cost rivals that of the expenses of maintaining my house. My poor wallet. Did I tell you, dear Diary, that this month, Kyo hasn't broken one single—

I stand corrected.

Continuing on, we finally came to the student council room. Inside were many boring people who flocked, of course, to Aya. He's just that type of person. As they goggled at the student council commander, and Yuki bickered with his nii-san, I grinned to myself, imagining what Micchan would do when she found the house empty.

On second thought, maybe I should have at least left a note, I suppose. I actually like my editor very much. Maybe I should ask her out drinking sometime. I bet, if I play my cards right, I could get Ha'ri to "force" me to as an apology. Hmm…

_Anyway_, we picked up Yuki and made our way to find my little housewife and the brute. Not only did he just tear through my doors, he somehow also found his way into my room and destroyed the stacks of paper lying about! What if they had been my manuscript? Micchan would most assuredly murder him, then. Hmm… I could tell her that they were my completed manuscript. Then, I wouldn't have Kyon-kyon destroying my house.

But I was telling you about my wonderful day, when my house was still intact.

Yuki was arguing with Aya, and so it was up to me to find the Tohru in distress. (She _must_ have been in distress; she was with Kyo!) I immediately came up with numerous places where they could be, including the locker rooms, but I decided to go to Mayuko's room first.

She's pining for me, you know. Of course, we could never be, so she has gone to her fallback, Ha'ri. I'm not about to tell him that he's a fallback, though.

Aya reached the door before me, spoiling _my_ grand entrance for one of his own. I must say, though, Aya really _is_ magnificent at entrances, so I let it be.

As soon as I reached the door, I was stunned. I had no idea that Hatori was such a sex-fiend. He certainly wasn't that way with Kana! The whole thing had been innocent, and very boring. It was much better with Mayuko. I could use them in one of my stories! I would have to change their professions, though. I don't want to seem cliché with the doctor/teacher pairing. Writer/teacher would be much better. After all, a teacher could appreciate writing _much_ more than general medicine. Hmm…

I immediately imagined Ha'ri's face when he learned that I had used them. Poor sex-starved Hatori doesn't realize that I provide women and men everywhere a sexual escape from their dull, mundane lives! Mayuko's face would be hilarious, though. Just think of it, dear Diary!

I burst out laughing. Hatori the horny dragon… It has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? I could turn it into a song! I would become a worldwide hit, and I would have to come up with yet _another_ pseudonym to escape a pummeling from all of my adoring fans…

"Ha'ri, at least close the door!" I cried, gasping for breath between raucous bouts of laughter. Those poor high-school girls that could have seen them and be scarred for life! It would truly be a tragedy if such a distressing sight drove them to becoming asexual. Why, I couldn't live knowing that Hatori had ruined these poor girls lives! He could have ruined my little housewife! I nearly died at the thought.

"Hatori, you are naughty, simply naughty," Aya said, sniggering. Ha'ri jumped like he had been electrocuted and quickly stepped back from Mayuko. Yuki grew terribly impatient and pushed his way to see what we were laughing at. His face grew terribly pale, and I realized that Yuki might have been scarred for life and at that moment turned asexual.

It wouldn't be much of a waste; in fact, one girl or boy might have been saved today from spending a relationship with Yuki. Just think, dear Diary! By exposing Yuki and robbing him of his innocence, we just saved someone!

Of course, all he saw was a disheveled doctor and teacher, but he _must_ have known what was going on, because he ran off with his face turning a bright crimson.

After Ha'ri slammed the door in our faces, we followed at a more leisurely pace. We finally found him with Tohru and her friends, along with Kyo, Momiji, Haru, and Yuki.

Yuki was still looking quite flustered, and everyone was trying to get information from him. When Yuki's truly being stubborn, though, it simply can't be done, and so Aya and I lent our knowledge.

"Your homeroom teacher Mayuko-chan was making out with Ha'ri!" Everyone stared in disbelief at Aya, while I nodded sagely.

Kyo jumped up and ripped off his shirt. He immediately started pounding on his chest like an idiot, singing a song of lament. He was in love with Hatori, dear Diary.

And yes, Kyo, I can tell you're reading this over my shoulder. Really, how rude! I—

After Kyon-Kyon hit me, the idiot tripped over one of my bookcases and nearly destroyed my computer. He's still stuck under there as I write this. I suppose that I really should help him, but dinner's ready, and it would be rude to let the supper that Tohru prepared turn cold. Bye-bye, Kyo! I'll be back later if I remember!


End file.
